In the literature of Zen, one sometimes comes across the phrase ‘the backward step’ in relation to meditation. I would like to try and shed some light on this enigmatic phrase and offer my understanding of what it means.
Hongzhi Zhengjue, was a 12th century Chinese Zen teacher, who had a big influence on Eihei Dogen, the 13th century Japanese Zen teacher. In a text written by Hongzhi, titled, Cultivating the Empty Field, we find this sentence: ‘thoroughly illuminate the source, empty and spirited, vast and bright …. Take the backward step and directly reach the middle of the circle from where light issues forth.’ Even in what is considered to be one of the clearest translations, by Dan Leighton, it is hard to follow the thread of Hongzhi’s thinking. What is the ‘source’? What is the ‘circle from where light issues forth?’ Well, it seems to me that Hongzhi is referring to the mind itself – the vast boundless space in which thoughts, sensations and emotions arise and move about like clouds in a big sky.
In his essay, Fukanzazengi, Dogen writes: ‘You should therefore cease from practice based on intellectual understanding, pursuing words and chasing speech, and learn the backward step that turns your light inwardly to illuminate your self.’ Dogen suggests that this is the way to reveal ‘your original face’. Again, it may not be clear what Dogen is meaning. To me, it seems that Dogen is advising us to shift our focus from the thoughts and sensations that arise in the mind to the mind itself. To step back from involving ourselves in the thoughts and feelings that endlessly come and go, and, instead, be mindful of the space within which the thoughts and feelings arise and decay. This means also changing the way in which we consider the self. Rather than identifying with the chattering that goes on ‘in our heads’ and with the feelings that swirl about like mists and clouds, we can learn to identify with the open spaciousness of the mind itself.
Hongzhi and Dogen are pointing to what they see as a key feature of Zen meditation practice, that is, not so much to enter a particular mental state of peace, serenity or happiness, or to ponder on our wayward thoughts, sensations and feelings, but rather to change the relationship we have with these thoughts, sensations and feelings. To step back from inhabiting ‘our’ thoughts – from identifying with what goes on in the mind – and instead see thoughts, sensations and feelings from the perspective of the mind itself – indeed, even to let go of our notion that they are ‘ours’ and just see them as the activity of the mind – like thought-fish swimming about in the mind-sea.
The ‘backward step’ is Dogen’s way of speaking about the radical transformation that involves trying to see the ‘bigger picture’ – a more holistic and clear-sighted view of what is going on from moment to moment. Shifting our viewpoint to one that is no longer inflected by our thoughts, sensations and feelings – a viewpoint that is no longer grounded in attachment, commentary and judgment, but is clear, bright and open – like the sky is, as clouds, birds and planes move about within it. If we can become the sky rather than the passing clouds, peace of mind, balance and composure will tend to arise naturally and without effort.
It seems to me that Dogen is advising us to open up some space between us and the emotions, thoughts and sensations that come and go in us. Learning to step back from, and let go of, the reactive habits of thought and behaviour that so often lead us astray. These reactive habits can lead us to say things, we do not mean; to act in ways that, with reflection, we would not otherwise do; to be unmindful and inattentive, rather than mindful and attentive. In this way we can be hurtful, uncaring and unsympathetic when, if we paused for a moment (stepping back), we would be helpful, caring and sympathetic. Learning to step back from the anger that occasionally arises, or the habits of assumptions and preconceptions, or the reactive responses that sometimes lead us astray – if we can do this, we can stay calm, bring a sense of balance to our thoughts and actions, and maybe defuse conflicts as they begin. Stepping back, in this sense, can lead to a more peaceful existence, for us and for those around us. This is what Dogen and Zongzhi are suggesting. (There may be a link here with the ancient Greek sceptic notion of epoché – that is ‘suspending judgement’ – a topic I want to return to in another brief talk.)
Dogen may also be suggesting we step back from our usual tendency to be doing something, to be interfering or heading somewhere, trying to gain something or to chase after what is always over the rainbow. Instead, he suggests, we could just ‘be’ – experiencing what is, rather what chasing after what might be, or what we desire, or hope, will be. Dogen and Zongzhi are urging us to develop a compassionate disinterested viewpoint, uninflected by anger, greed and attachment, or delusion.
This radical transformation of viewpoint is one of the key aspects of awakening – awakening to the ‘big mind’ rather than the myriad swirling thoughts, sensations and emotions that arise in it – discovering, and identifying with, the spaciousness and openness of the mind rather than being caught up in every thought and sensation that passes through it. It is this big mind that we might consider to be what some Zen teachers call our ‘original face’, or Buddha-nature.
To be mindful is to learn the art of not attaching our self to, or dwelling on, thoughts, feelings and sensations – even if it is only for a short time. This glimpse of another way of experiencing can be very nourishing and liberating – and offer us a less self-centred and more compassionate and peaceful mode of being. So, pay attention, step back, let go, move on.
Bibliography
Hongzhi Zhengjue. 2002. Cultivating the Empty Field – in, John Daido Loori, ed. 2002. The art of just sitting. Boston: Wisdom Publications, pp. 15-18.
Eihei Dogen. 2002. Zazengi: Universal recommendations for Zazen – in, The art of just sitting – as above, pp. 21-23.